The Beauty of Contagious Passion

Often the new year brings change. Change isn't always a bad thing, but when that change includes people moving far away, making it hard to stay a part of their lives, I'm not a fan. These last few nights I've been kept awake by the mere thought that some of the people in my life whom I REALLY value- might not be there for long. I've moved around, I know people rarely stay in the same place forever. I know there are other places that could be SO so blessed by their beautiful hearts... But at the same time I'm selfish and I'll miss them intensely. People try and convince me that I'll still be loved by the ones that remain... that's probably true. But when you have friends who give you the space to be honest and accept you for who you are and not what you do- this is priceless and can be a rare thing these days... It's as if their leaving is inevitable... And it will be an exciting opportunity for them to bless others. It's as if I'm sl...

He re I stand,  The end in sight,  The pace has slowed, Blessed with a rushing wave of excitement, Only to see that the river's filled with eels,  Jagged stones and strong tides. The wait to go home, Seems so long and painful, I think of you all, Every day, How you blessed me, And showed me a glimpse, Of God's family. I long to see them again, But I dread to think, What will happen, If this time it's harder to let go, My heart may be so torn, That only His hands, Can even begin to piece it together. This longing can't be for nothing, To see His children smile, To journey with His family, Through life's joys and frustration, His plans are bigger, His wisdom stretches further, I must leave it in His care. But till then, I will wait, Impatiently, for clarity, And repeatedly surrender the tender, Desperately hopeful part of my heart, Into His arms each day, For He alone knows and is in control......

As I was flicking through old notes and trying to decide what to keep I found a scrawled piece of paper that I’d spilled my heart out onto in a moment of frustration and exhaustion and it went something like this…  “My heart feels fearful, I feel incredibly out of control and in need of rest, I just want to step back and watch somebody else who is actually good at this whole thing… I feel incredibly incapable of my position, my heart feels flat… I feel I’ve got nothing to offer this ministry…” While this isn’t the most positive note to start on- it’s the journey that has happened over the past few months that I want to share with you- not simply to make you feel sorry for me! I wrote this after a particularly tough week near the beginning of term 4. I’d been having issues with neck due to being stressed and sitting hunched over a computer and it was making sleep difficult. Then on top of that I got a cold, I had too many assignments and all the activities I normally...

The ripple that tips the boat The one that catches you off guard, Turns your world inside out, In a moment where your mind is miles away. You've come across these conditions before, But since then the waters settled, And the ripple which tipped you before, Is far from your thoughts. Now you're again caught defenseless, Left in the middle of the water, Holding onto the of the boat, despairingly, Watching the oars drift out of reach. "Why didn't I see it coming?" You think to yourself, And your startled heart thumps, But you feel as if your face has lost all its colour. You sigh with unsettled relief once again, For it was only ripple, Not a wave that could break the boat, For now... my heart can rest... "Despite the mess, Despite the fall, You are in control, You are in control. Of it all..."- Calling Elijah 

I should probably get into the habit of blogging once a year... Ha ha this will make it twice... It's been an intense assignment ridden couple of weeks and I've been a bit stressed... I was thinking about this story last night... I love it because it's so beautiful =)   There's an oldish kids story, about little wooden people. Whenever they see one who is good or amounts to something, they place a gold star on their wooden skin. Whenever they see a one who doesn't amount who doesn't amount to much they give them a grey dot. It doesn't feel good to be covered in grey dots... but if you place your worth in what God thinks of you and not the stickers that the other wooden people give, the stickers don't stick... At the moment it feels like the grey dots are the super sticky kind and I've got a whole box of them. For every negative though I have I place a grey dot. This time I've covered my heart in them so no one can get throu...

Recently, I returned from visiting Manado in Indonesia as part of a church partnership trip. If you've read my blog before, you'll know that this is not the first time I've been overseas... But last time I went to Africa and up till few weeks I thought my heart was always going to be to serve and love people in Africa... However, from the moment I walked out of the airport at Manado into the warm, humid air I was excited to be there. On the first day we got to the church, I was made to feel like family and by the time we came to leave 8 days later, I felt like I was part of the community. I was blessed to be able to spend time with many beautiful children, to play and sing songs with and communicate the best I could with my limited Indonesian that I thought they were fantastic and I knew that God loved them so much more! Although I am very sad to leave them behind, I am comforted by the thought that there are many really great people in Manado, who love, spend t...