...A soft and thankful heart...
These last few weeks have been a bit insane. Once again back in exam season and uni has played its usual heartless trick of giving us less than a week after assignments have finished to cram in as much precious revision as we can before the moment hits us.
My first exam didn't go so well... then 2 hours sleep the night before the second one didn't help especially with having to get up early for the third one... I spent 3 hours watching kids T.V after the third one and ages dozing the day after... But that's how life goes sometimes... We stress, we rest and we keep on moving...
However, this week has got better as it went on...
I teach scripture once a week, I missed my class last week cause of an exam. When I got there this week they cared enough to ask how it went and then were curious as to what I was studying. I told them I wanted to be a primary school teacher and they were really excited and thought I should come and teach at their school and teach year 6 (which will be them next year)- so cute- kids can make you so happy sometimes.
That evening I went and babysat with a mate for one of our church families. They have three kids, all girls. A little one who is about 3 who is really cute we a big smile, one in the middle who is friendly and kind and then an older one who is fun, enthusiastic and giggly and has special needs. Sometimes she is a little hard to communicate with... However at one stage I asked her if she was ok and she turned around and said "yes I am ok"... It was cool!!
They were so excited to have us baby sit for them. So while we watched chicken run the little one jumped on my head and the older one sat on my lap and the middle one sat curled up next to my friend (they didn't stay there the whole time of course), but I couldn't help but smile. And when they got up and started doing the chicken dance at the end? Talk about cute!! I love watching other people who are good with kids- and my friend was brilliant with them! Calm and steady when it was needed and funny and playful too.
It was such a blessing to spend time with these people and made me remember how much I love kids.
My last exam was today- a subject I am not fond of to say the least. It went ok.
Afterwards I chatted with a friend. I really valued that conversation. The honestly, the vulnerability and the trust that went with it was priceless...
Real people can be hard to come across in this world. People are so worried about what others think of them that they put on an act and pretend like their fine when really their not. The people I usually think of fitting this description could also be known as plastic... But sometimes I feel like I fit it too... I know God loves me and accepts me just as I am and that the opinions of others shouldn't get to me... However, I often worry that people will think I'm nuts if I tell them too much or that they'll get irritated or bored with me if I talk too much about whats going on for me and that i'll quickly sound like a broken record.
So I usually bottle it up and suppress it- I know this is unhealthy (and it doesn't always work)- but it feels safer than letting on sometimes...Its rare that I find people I feel safe to be real with, people I feel safe to cry with and can tell them whats really going on without fear of them avoiding and ignoring me in the future as a result. It has been a long standing prayer request for these kind of people. But this year I have people I can be real with, whom I can actually do life with, the good and the bad. Whom will cry with me and laugh with me and for whom I can be there for too.
After a mixed week... I feel REALLY blessed and thankful... God IS faithful and he knows just how to make me deeply happy...
This is a casting crowns song... I think its epic...
My first exam didn't go so well... then 2 hours sleep the night before the second one didn't help especially with having to get up early for the third one... I spent 3 hours watching kids T.V after the third one and ages dozing the day after... But that's how life goes sometimes... We stress, we rest and we keep on moving...
However, this week has got better as it went on...
I teach scripture once a week, I missed my class last week cause of an exam. When I got there this week they cared enough to ask how it went and then were curious as to what I was studying. I told them I wanted to be a primary school teacher and they were really excited and thought I should come and teach at their school and teach year 6 (which will be them next year)- so cute- kids can make you so happy sometimes.
That evening I went and babysat with a mate for one of our church families. They have three kids, all girls. A little one who is about 3 who is really cute we a big smile, one in the middle who is friendly and kind and then an older one who is fun, enthusiastic and giggly and has special needs. Sometimes she is a little hard to communicate with... However at one stage I asked her if she was ok and she turned around and said "yes I am ok"... It was cool!!
They were so excited to have us baby sit for them. So while we watched chicken run the little one jumped on my head and the older one sat on my lap and the middle one sat curled up next to my friend (they didn't stay there the whole time of course), but I couldn't help but smile. And when they got up and started doing the chicken dance at the end? Talk about cute!! I love watching other people who are good with kids- and my friend was brilliant with them! Calm and steady when it was needed and funny and playful too.
It was such a blessing to spend time with these people and made me remember how much I love kids.
My last exam was today- a subject I am not fond of to say the least. It went ok.
Afterwards I chatted with a friend. I really valued that conversation. The honestly, the vulnerability and the trust that went with it was priceless...
Real people can be hard to come across in this world. People are so worried about what others think of them that they put on an act and pretend like their fine when really their not. The people I usually think of fitting this description could also be known as plastic... But sometimes I feel like I fit it too... I know God loves me and accepts me just as I am and that the opinions of others shouldn't get to me... However, I often worry that people will think I'm nuts if I tell them too much or that they'll get irritated or bored with me if I talk too much about whats going on for me and that i'll quickly sound like a broken record.
So I usually bottle it up and suppress it- I know this is unhealthy (and it doesn't always work)- but it feels safer than letting on sometimes...Its rare that I find people I feel safe to be real with, people I feel safe to cry with and can tell them whats really going on without fear of them avoiding and ignoring me in the future as a result. It has been a long standing prayer request for these kind of people. But this year I have people I can be real with, whom I can actually do life with, the good and the bad. Whom will cry with me and laugh with me and for whom I can be there for too.
After a mixed week... I feel REALLY blessed and thankful... God IS faithful and he knows just how to make me deeply happy...
This is a casting crowns song... I think its epic...
"When I take a look around everybody seems so strong,
I know they'll soon discover that I don't belong.
So I tuck it all away like eveythings ok,
If I make them all believe it maybe I'll believe it too?
So wear the pain and grin I'll play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them,
Would it set me free if I dared to let them see,
The truth behind the person that they imagine me to be?
Would your arms be open or would you walk away?
Would the love of Jesus be enough to make you stay?
Are we happy plastic people?
Under shiny plastic steeples?
With walls around our weakness and smiles that hide our pain,
Well if the invitations open,
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we'll close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade"
Thanks, Becky. A week of small joys. Hobbo
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