Sometimes it feels like drowning.

It's the end of my degree, I've got more time to complete assignments now than ever before. I only have two subjects, 1 week of classes and two assignments to go... and yet my motivation is at an all time low...
I should be bouncing off walls, excited for next year and all the crazy potential that it holds... But instead, I feel that familiar fear of unpredictability rising higher, there are butterflies in my stomach and I feel stressed at the mere thought of what's next.... Oh how I want a way out of feeling like this... It's so much better than it has been but it's still hard and I'm tired of it. I wondered about medication... but seems the side effects of that are too intense. It will all calm down when I know what's happening. 
I love investigating personality profiles, finding ways we can get to know ourselves better and how we can better care for ourselves and others. Anyway, recently I've discovered... after years of considering myself an extrovert.... That I might in fact be an outgoing introvert. I used to think that my fears and doubts subdued my extroversion but maybe... just maybe, it was my body telling me I needed more time to myself to think and process.
This week has been weird, I nearly failed an assignment, found out my scholarship application feel through... I've been dizzy and lethargic and have been trying to adjust to a different way of eating/lifestyle.
But as I find myself starting to struggle... I find myself falling back on God. He's the one who can comfort my heart when it's shaking with fear, the one who puts friends and family around me who love me and the one who has plans and an incredible purpose for my life. It breaks His heart when we shut Him out. I'm so sorry when I do... please forgive me. Help me to trust You and take You every step of the way... Please bring peace to my heart once again =)

"Down on my knees I am falling,
I've strength that's long lost away,
I have no choice but surrender,
Won't You come and fill, 
Won't You come and fill,
Won't You come and fill this heart!"

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